You've Been Sleeping On That!?

You’ve been sleeping on that!?

The art, science, and timing of choosing your perfect mattress 

It’s moving day. Six a.m. For months, you’ve been carefully planning, prepping, and boxing your life for this moment. Coffee in hand, checklist at the ready, you stride into your day a Colossus of logistical certainty. 

Mover’s arrival time confirmed? Check. Box of necessities clearly marked and taped up? Pfft, please. You’re no rank amateur. Done and done. 

There’s just one last-minute unchecked job left on your list: “Strip the bed.” With a self-assured flourish, you fling aside those fresh, clean sheets you know will look great in your new home...

(cue Psycho music)

And that’s when everything went straight to hell.


OK, the picture is a mild exaggeration for dramatic effect. Sorry about that. Your mattress is probably far less … shall we say, terrifying … than this one. But still, as your moving day fast approaches, now may be the perfect time to rip away the mattress protector of ignorance and ask yourself some hard-hitting mattress-related questions:

• Do I really want to keep sleeping on this thing? 

• Would a new mattress give me better sleep, and if so which should I buy?

• Is now the right time to ditch my old, worn-out mattress and give myself the housewarming gift of a fresh, clean mattress delivered straight to the doorstep of my new home?

• What is that weird green stain anyway and why does it resemble a map of Europe? And how the hell do I get rid of this travesty without the neighbors seeing? 

We can help you with the first three. Question four, you’re on your own. But before we get to that, take a moment to glance at our full list of highly-rated mattresses. Prices start at around $600. Factor in your new mover discount and you can easily get a top-of-the-line mattress delivered to your new door for a fraction of what you’d normally fork out. 

Here are some key variables to consider when thinking about investing in a new mattress.

Mattresses are not like diamonds

They’re not forever. 

Close to 85 percent of consumers won’t consider buying a new mattress until it’s well past its operational lifespan, according to recent research by the Better Sleep Council. 

And that is bad news because while individual humans are great, as a species we can be a smidge … well … disgusting. We shed skin. We attract mites. We sweat at night. We eat cookies in a supine position watching endless re-runs of The Office. And our poor mattresses bear the brunt of all this human unpleasantness for an average of seven straight hours … every … flipping … day. Can you blame the poor things for wearing out quicker than six buck socks on a hike through the Appalachians?

Assuming normal use, the Sleep Foundation advises that you should ditch your old mattress every six to eight years. If it squeaks, if it sags, kick it to the curb. If it makes you sore, if it makes you sneeze, you should get rid of the thing immediately. 

We need to be more ruthless with our mattresses. They’re great for a while, and then they’re not. Don’t let that day sneak past you.

Your sleep position is a big factor

Are you a side sleeper or a back sleeper? Side sleepers need pressure relief and spine alignment. A pressure-relieving mattress top will relieve stress from your hips and your shoulders, which means less tossing and turning, a straighter spine, and a better night’s sleep. 

The Helix Midnight Luxe is a highly-rated mattress designed for those who catch their Zs side-on.


On the other hand, if you mostly sleep on your back (especially if you do so to alleviate pain), your ideal mattress will offer a feature called “zoned support” — a more recent innovation in mattress science that has shockingly little to do with basketball. Zoned support divides your mattress up into three areas of firmness, promoting good spinal alignment, and supporting deeper muscle relaxation while sleeping.

The Casper Original is a great choice for back sleepers. Four out of five people using the mattress reported a better night’s sleep.


Don’t sweat your night sweats

Let’s circle back to the basic realities of living in a human body. We sweat, especially at night. Roughly 40 percent of people report having night sweats at least once per month, according to one sleep study published in the Journal of Family Practice. 

So if you experience night sweats and feel like it’s some kind of shameful family secret you must conceal from the general populace at all costs — something akin to being from a long line of werewolves or keeping a zombie minion in your basement — you can knock that right off. Sweating at night is extremely common, and nothing to feel squeamish about. 

And you can do something about it.

A cooling mattress is a great way to keep uncomfortable perspiration to a minimum. This life-saving innovation for the soggier slumberer features a cooling gel foam layer, and typically uses a more aerated internal mattress structure to encourage airflow. 


Check out the Brooklyn Aurora line of mattresses, designed specifically to keep your skin temperature at an ideal 88 degrees all night.

Buy to fit your budget

And finally, you’ll want to find a mattress that fits your price point. 

The good news here is that you can purchase a quality mattress — one you’ll sleep well on for years — for under a thousand bucks. The Nectar Mattress is a full memory foam mattress, you get a year to try it out before committing to the purchase, and you get a lifetime warranty. 


You might be a new mover watching your bank account. Or perhaps you need a few new mattresses for your whole family. If you’re on a budget, the Nectar mattress is a great way to expunge an old mattress (and the inexplicable green stain of Europe it plays host to) from your life at minimal expense. Oh, and the company offers monthly payment installments at zero percent interest. 

Or if you’re prepared to spare no expense, revel in the opulent caress of the Saatva Classic a mattress upon which the Sultan of Brunei himself would proudly recline while feasting on dates, playing Candy Crush on a jewel-encrusted smartphone, and binge-watching The Crown on Netflix. You’ve heard of a “white glove delivery service?” Saatva’s delivery people wear two pairs, just to double down on all the whiteness. 

I mean heck, it looks like they flew their mattress to a Caribbean Island for the promo shot.


Best Luxury Mattress - Saatva Classic - $225 Off Purchase Of $1,000 Or More 

The Saatva Classic is a chiropractor-approved mattress that uses proprietary memory foam to provide optimal spine support. A three-inch pillow-top, individually pocketed coils, and an additional tempered coil base all combine to create a ridiculously comfortable slab of sleep real estate. 

After all, if you’re going to invest in some luxury anywhere in your life, your mattress is probably a smart place to start.

Flashback to moving day

Picture moving day again. 6:30 a.m (this time you slept in.) 

You banished that old mattress from your life days ago -- under cover of darkness, with no witnesses. That mysterious green stain and its air of ominous foreboding are now a distant memory. 

And ready for you on your new front doorstep? A pristine new mattress, just waiting to be unpacked; unfurling before your eyes to its full, sleep-giving glory. 

From budget options to straight-up luxurious, for side sleepers, back sleepers, and the night sweaters among us (you know who you are), there’s a fresh, comfortable mattress with your name on it. What better housewarming gift than knowing you have a good night’s sleep waiting for you?

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